The excitement of this month has me thinking about the future, with June being the month of the Summer Solstice, the Sun begins it's slow but steady descent into shorter days and cooler airs. That thought alone puts into perspective the beauty of this time, it's the apex of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, the epic climax of the year if you will. Ironic that this month marks a landmark of sorts in my life, I am finally turning 29 years old. Most would not think that 29 is significant, but it is to me. I can't explain how many people in my life always told me that the age of 29 always symbolizes significant life-changing events in one's life. The idea of this most likely stems from the astrological landmark "Saturn Returns" which symbolizes the return of Saturn to the degrees occupied at the time of your birth, as this happen the person crosses into a new phase of their life, as the story goes. I've battled with the rationale mind, and the feeling heart my whole life. I can't explain why I feel this year to be different, but I do.
This transition phase has already started. On April 18th, my life changed drastically in the form of the Government halting the ability of it's citizens to play online poker on the three major websites. This changed my life drastically, a source of income was wiped out, and a hobby was gone. Poker has been such a huge part of my life since the time I learned the game in Spring 2003. The interesting thing is I haven't missed the game at all, I almost forgot about the life I used to live. I don't know if I will ever play poker with the regularity that i have over the past 8 years, but I don't think so. The truth is poker will always be a part of my life, just not in the form of viewing cards and slinging chips. The patience, humility, the understanding of variance, odds, expected value, and risk/reward that I have learned through the game of poker will inevitably help me in my next venture. Probably the most important thing I have learned is that life is a gamble. We gamble with love, money, career, and happiness. I think the common person does not know they are gambling because they are afraid to take risks. I am sure in my life I have been to higher highs, and lower lows than what I perceive from the average person. The crazy thing is I know they can go higher, and I know it can go lower. The understanding that at my age there is still uncharted territory in my life, brings me a strong sense of anxiety. It is an anxiety that is not something I believe to be bad or evil, but something that is helping me understand the challenge that lies before me.
Five days after the infamous black Friday of online poker my temp position came to an end. I found myself without a job, without a hobby, and way too much time on my hands. That three week span soon showed to be very important in my life. Upon researching the "Twin Flame" phenomenon, I encountered an electric group of spiritual-truth seekers to network with. I have been able to gather a lot of information from this group, and use it to increase my chi, balance my chakras, and keep my energy in a high state. I am hoping, with diligence and hard work, the teaching of this network can help move my energy into a new place, a place that will help me move past the mental, spiritual, intellectual, and financial prison I found myself in the past few years. Of course, change is a choice, at this time it's a choice I will gladly make.
"Go beyond everything. Don't collect anything. A king does not need to go shopping in his own kingdom. Nor does he beg. Remember, you are the Inner reality~pure awareness only. All that arises are appearances in consciousness. Don't bother with all that. Rest only as the awareness. This is the secret." ~Mooji
