Saturnalia and the Holiday Racket...

Usually their are certain days of the year when I try to keep my criticism and comments to myself, in the interest of the great holiday I will try not to be too provocative.  Regardless of the origins of the traditional holidays we have in western society, I have always found it pathetic how they have been exploited and corporatized to make a profit.  The Holiday Racket is out of control, and I've been wondering if people are aware of this, or if they simply don't care.  I must admit, I love the holidays, I love seeing family and friends.  At the same time I would never walk up to a Native American and wish them a Happy Thanksgiving.  I'm sure it's all about perspective, and mine being a liberal one, I see a lot of the negative that goes in, and comes out Holidays. 

Having a natural interest in ancient religions and spirituality, I have always studied the life of famous deities, prophets, truth seekers, etc. etc.  Jesus being the most popular of them all, I studied a lot about his life, the lost years spent in India, I even researched some of the theories that Jesus visited the Americas and brought healing and a philosophy of love to the Native Americans. (http://www.wolflodge.org/sananda/walked-america.htm).  Surely such an important figure to Western Society deserves a day to celebrate his life, I don't believe that message is lost at all on Christmas.  What I'm really questioning is the date surrounding this very holiday.  There are a lot of people that believe Christmas is simply a Pagan holiday marking the sun being reborn, and that the story of Jesus is a Roman myth intended to keep the status quo of the time.  Very possible, although the  more research I do into the subject, the more uncertain I am.  One thing I am certain about, this very day, December 25th, and the annual celebration did not originate with the birth of Jesus.  Almost all scholars on the subject have Jesus being born around September 11th 3 AD.  What it most likely did originate from, was the ancient Roman festival called "Saturnalia" ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturnalia) held in honor of the Roman God Saturn.

The point of all this?  I dunno, nothing maybe?  Surely one can live there life completely happy not knowing that what they're celebrating on a specific day was a lie to them.  The Ancient Romans, whom we in the Western world have adopted the majority of our customs from, had an agenda for the people at the top to keep the people on the bottom in a subservient-slave mentality.  The Council of Nicea, was directed by Constantine and religious leaders at the time changed around Christianity to what we know of it now.  A Christianity that better served the agenda of the Roman leaders.

The point of this is not to belittle, or destroy anyone's beliefs.  I simply think it's important for people to do their research into things.  I certainly think there's a possibility that I could be wrong on a lot of things, but I still put time into research and investigate to do my best at making an informed opinion or perspective.  Given the paradoxical nature of the universe, one can prove their beliefs with one word, so clearly I've been wasting my time...

12/21/2010

So it's the winter equinox 2010 and I'm in a reflecting mood.  I'm finding a lot of irony in this day right now, this day represents the sun reaching it's lowest trajectory, making this the shortest day of the year (in the Northern hemisphere).  It also represents the subsequent rebirth of the sun and the movement back towards higher trajectory, making warmer weather and longer days.  I also did some numerology calculations 1+2+2+1+2+0+1+0=9, nine is an interesting number in numerology as it represents the ending of something and the new beginning.  Fitting that all this is going on in the universe, whether you believe in it or not, I find it interesting.

I'm experiencing a rebirth of my own, as this week I started a new job with a good company called Paychex.  Although it's not what I see myself doing for the rest of my life, it is definitely a more challenging step up from my previous job.  I feel like this is definitely a time in my life when I have to move in a different direction.  I always believed the best change comes when you're most open to it, and not when it's forced.  I don't know what exactly that means for the future, but I'm strapped in for the ride.

In the short term, the universe spoke a small message to me when Full Tilt Poker's server crashed while I was in the middle of 12 tabling sit and goes.  I'm not sure if this means I should quit poker, but it's safe to say I'm  done for the night.  With that being said, I'm going to the YMCA to get a workout in...

Why politics is a joke...

I spent some time today reading over online poker forums about the possibility of legalizing online poker.  I learned more of what I already knew, politics in America is a joke and I actually pity anyone who thinks otherwise.  Apparently Harry Reid the Senator from Nevada wants to legalize online gaming in America, heavily supported by the poker player's alliance, seems like a good thing. After reviewing this further, all the speculation at the time is showing that his interest lies more with the Casino industry lobbyists that funded him, than with the people that elected him.  Not surprising, such is usually the case.  It was the case with Bush helping Oil Companies, and now Obama bailing out Wall Street.  More and more it becomes obvious that the two-party system is an utter failure that only gives the people an illusion of choice.  Unfortunately, the people of this country do not hold the power they think, or even should have.  Most do not even understand how much their opinions and beliefs are forced upon themselves since the time of their birth, and all through out their life.  I wonder if most even know why they call themselves a Democrat or a Republican.

This reminds me of a time I was sitting in the breakroom at my job at the Apple Store in Las Vegas.  It was election day, and I was pretending to listen to my Ipod while listening to people talk about the Presidential election.  A kid that worked there came in after he voted, he showed everyone a picture he took from his phone while voting for Obama, the consensus popular pick of the breakroom.  Next I heard somebody utter "Who is Cynthia McKinney? Who would vote for her?"  To the eruption of the peanut gallery in laughter I sat there and thought to myself "I wonder what is worst, the fact that he is not well informed of all the candidates running in his countries election?  Or the fact that he somehow finds his ignorance funny?"  I wonder who should really be held more accountable, the person that can't think straight, or the media indoctrination of that person.  I guess that's another Democrat/Republican question,.,.errr not...

Perpetual Stagnation

I'm not sure what it is; frustrating job, bitter winter, losing at poker, could be a mixture of a lot of things.  The problems compiling at this moment doesn't change the fact that they have been here for the past year and a half, to two years.  Actually there hasn't been real progress in my life since I came home from Las Vegas.  I remember a time when the answers to a problem came to me from every where, books, omens, meeting  new people, I lived a carefree life where anything I wanted came to me.  Being a minimalist at heart, I never wanted a lot, but what I desired was always obtainable.  Times seem different now, I feel like I'm Bill Murray in "Groundhogs Day" and nothing I seem to do can stop it. Sometimes I wonder if another two years will pass and I will still be grinding online poker tournaments on a meager bankroll, still not coming close to paying off the debt I built on myself.

I remember when I saw the movie "Inception" and I heard the famous quote "Ideas are like viruses", I thought how true that really was.  It's happened plenty of times with me, I let a thought creep into my head that did damage to my psyche.  Sort of like when an achievement is made that was once thought to be impossible, it happens consistently there after once the critical mass gets the idea that it's possible, well the opposite happens with me. Once I realized I could fail, or I didn't have control over a situation the floodgates opened.  The truth is, I'm the only one to blame.  I should have never thought bliss would last forever, that I would always win at poker, always have positive relationships, continue to attract into my life everything I need, or simply to believe that the peaks would always significantly outweigh the valleys. They haven't, not even close. As much as I think of my lack of progress the last two years, I feel this is all necessary.  I can only imagine how hard it would be if I was not prepared for a big fall.  What if I went to be 35 with out any significant deterrents in my life?  Would I be a better person? Still humble?  One thing is for sure, things have to change.  I know I can grind, know I have a strong work ethic, and can make sacrifices.  But, the fact is, NONE of that has worked. I feel like it was my destiny in life to fail the past two years, so many things in my life that I held sacred have disappeared.  I've lost friends, had numerous failed poker backing arrangements, forced to leave Vegas because of my financial woes, had my heart broken, broke somebody else's heart.  I feel like the first 26 years of my life never prepared me for what I've encountered the past two years.  I wish life was always as easy as it was before 2009, that I could do all the things I want, with no worries. 

  I'm realizing now just how much of a turning point I am in my life, I was told by a friend I worked woth at the "Kabbalah Centre" that Saturn Returns to the degree occupied at the time of your birth between the ages of 27-30, and at that time major changes happen in your life. I've never been 100% sold on Astrology, but I'm certain all that is happening is no coincidence. It's time,I have to initiate change, and I have, but it's difficult to know what to change and what not to.  I think it's time to let fate worry about all of that, in a time of growth there will always be things left behind, incapable of growing with you.  It's none of my business who or what can or will grow with me, it is my business to plant my own seeds, cultivate them, and watch them grow and blossom.  What I need is a glimmer of hope to turn it around, an idea to spread wildly, hope that there is a bright shining light at the end of the tunnel for me to run to.  That's all I need...